mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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