there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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