Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Randomize
