Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
