OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
