it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
