She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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