just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
