she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
