I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
