my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
