So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
