Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
