I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
