Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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