Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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