Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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