i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Small penises have feelings too.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
i believe in u and ur pee
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
