I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I am one with the molecules
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
