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new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Randomize
