So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm sobbing to NWA
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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