Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
