you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
it's like iHOP with fire
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
