He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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