please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
