i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
