I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
