We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
We named our party play list daddy issues
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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