drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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