thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
