i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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