kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
