Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
