No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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