no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
