I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
