Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
