Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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