I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Randomize
