no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
