I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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