There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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