P.S. I can't hear my feet
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
True strength comes from lack of pants
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
