Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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