am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
