Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
