You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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