It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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