I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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