I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
