Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
