found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
