is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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