I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
bring money and cleavage
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
