So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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